Drunks, Demons, and Idiocy
by Anti-Typos
Summary: Naruto and Sakura drunk? That's funny. Demons and idiots are surely going to be in this series. What will Naruto and Sakura find? Are they going to be drunk the whole time? Do they meet new people and see old friends?
1. We're drunk, but we met new people

**Drunks, Demons, and Idiocy**

Naruto and Sakura were on a mission.

Well, actually, they were not on a mission. They just decided to walk out of the village...

"Hey...Sakura...Sasuke is gone! Why?", Naruto said slurring his words while crying.

"Naruto...How many kids do I have again?", Sakura said wondering where her kids were.

"You...have kids?", Naruto said as his eyes widened (without a tear somehow).

"I think...", Sakura said as she started to think.

Naruto looked at Sakura; She looked back at him.

They randomly started laughing loudly together.

Naruto and Sakura were drinking...alcohol. This explains their stupidity.

They're not of age to be drinking. However, they were slipped the alcohol. By Sai.

"Naruto, I think I peed myself again.", Sakura said; completely drunk.

Naruto just started laughing as Sakura fell on the ground.

Naruto and Sakura have no idea where they are at.

Back at the Leaf, Tsunade heard of Naruto and Sakura's absence.

She demanded that Kakashi and Sai look for Naruto and Sakura.

"I didn't think they would just leave.", She said worried about the two.

"Do you think they went to look for Sasuke?", Tsunade asked hoping for an answer.

"No, they wouldn't do that. I'm almost sure about it.", Kakashi said.

"We will look for Naruto and Sakura, Lady Tsunade.", Sai said nodding his head at Kakashi.

"Let's go Sai!", Kakashi said; Sai and Kakashi disappearing from Tsunade's view.**  
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Naruto and Sakura just kept walking.

They came across a staircase.

Sakura looked down the staircase to see blood at the end of the stairs.

"Naruto, where are we?", Sakura asked failing to mention the blood.

"We are...in the Leaf. Yeah, the Leaf Village.", Naruto said unsure.

Truth be told, They were not in the Leaf.

They were in a small town where everyone was brutally murdered.

Horrible time for Sakura and Naruto to be drunk.

Sakura was walking down the staircase to see what could possibly be down there. As she passed the first stair she tripped over her foot and fell down the stairs.

Naruto went an opposite way. Instead of going down the stairs, he saw, what looked like, Uchiha Sasuke.

Naruto wasn't sure of this. What he saw was only a shadow on the ground.

Sakura, completely drunk, got up and started walking again.

As she continued walking there was blood.

She saw a human girl who looked like she was bleeding from her head.

"Umm, are you okay?", Sakura asked the girl.

"Help! Please! They are killing everyone!", The girl said dropping on the ground.

Sakura quickly went over to the girl to she if she was all right.

She wasn't. She was dead. There was no hope for her. Sakura couldn't heal the dead.

Sakura looked completely confused. Wondering who she was and where Naruto was.

"Naruto!", Sakura screamed hoping to find him.

"Sasuke? Is that you?", Naruto asked looking at a shadow on the ground.

The shadow soon disappeared.

"What the-?", Naruto said interrupted by a strong hit to his head; making him fall to the ground.

Sakura saw even more blood as she continued to walk down the path.

She wondered where the killers were.

She is still drunk. She tried to concentrate. She needed to concentrate in order to figure this thing out. Also, if she needed to fight; the fight would go better with sobriety.

Sakura saw a shadow. It had horns...It almost looked demonic.

Sakura ran so she woudn't have to fight. She was drunk. She would only mess up and get herself killed.

She was freaked out a little. She wanted to know why this shadow had horns. It wasn't exactly human to have horns.

Sakura turned around to see if that thing was following her.

She was starting to walk backwards to keep an eye out.

She stopped as she noticed she backed up into something...

She then turned around to see who it was.

It was a guy. She was scared. Although, he looked human. He didn't have horns.

He was very tall though.

"Are you okay?", he asked the woman with pink hair.

He didn't know her name.

"Are you the guy who slaughtered all these people?", Sakura said as she held her hands up to fight.

"No, it wasn't me. Please put down your fists. I'm here with my team to fight this demonic being. He appeared out of nowhere. He started to attack us." The tall guy said looking at the woman with pink hair.

"Is...he a demon? Or some kind of monster?", Sakura said with a questioning look.

"I am not sure. I know this might be rude, but why do you smell of alcohol?", He asked the female.

"I...um...well...", She said completely thoughtless.

"Well, me and my friends were celebrating. We were celebrating after we completed a mission. We were always busy and didn't have time to relax and have fun." Sakura said.

"My friend Sai must have slipped me and Naruto alcohol while we weren't watching. I mean, me and him wouldn't just decide to drink. We are considered minors. Maybe Sai was playing around and wanted to see how we acted with alcohol in our systems. But still...", Sakura continued.

"N-Naruto?", The man stuttered. He was surprised to hear this name. The man knew of Naruto.

"Listen, I have to go back to my team. But I don't want to leave you here all alone...", The man said concerned for the girl.

"It's fine...", she said.

"How about I help you find Naruto and then I leave to find my team? You see, We were separated. That demonic thing with horns dropped a bomb on us. We had to run opposite ways to survive the bomb. ", the man said smiling at the girl.

"That seems perfect! Let's get a move on, shall we?", Sakura said with excitement in her voice.

The two started running further into the town.

"Kakashi-sensei! There is something I need to tell you.", Sai said with sadness in his voice.

"What is it, Sai?", Kakashi asked.

"Well, Sakura, Naruto, and I were celebrating for fun. I was playing around and I switched there green tea with alcohol. After they had their first drink of alcohol they were a little tipsy. Then they grabbed for some more.", Sai said.

"After we finished celebrating, we decided to go home and sleep. I said goodbye to Sakura and Naruto. They said they weren't ready for bed. So they decided to eat ramen. After that I thought they would go home and sleep. But I was wrong..." Sai said hoping to be forgiven.

"Sai, it's alrght. Our priority now is to find Naruto and Sakura.", Kakashi said; not a hint of anger in his voice.

"Right!", Sai said with a smile.

Naruto was knocked out on the ground, not from drinking, but the shadow with horns knocked him out.

Naruto finally woke up to see a woman with red hair looking at him with disgust.

"What the hell!", Naruto screamed with fear in his voice.

"Don't scream. I'm not a demon, you brat!", the female said looking at him with even more digust in her facial expression and voice.

"Um...who are you?", Naruto asked looking surprised.

"Look, it doesn't matter who I am. I came on this path to find some idiot sleeping on the bloody ground.", She said looking away from his face.

"I wasn't sleeping...I passed out...because I was drunk", Naruto said looking down at the ground while blushing at what he said.

"Wait...why was I drunk to begin with? Wait, where's Sakura?", Naruto said. He was starting to worry for Sakura's being.

"Hey, lady, can you help me find her?", Naruto said hoping she would say yes.

"Well, I did get lost...I will. Only because I am sure I'll run into my other teammates while helping you.", she said with a snobby look.

"Good! Let's go find Sakura!", Naruto yelled with excitement.

"Whatever!", the woman said with disbelief.

They started to walk down a path together.

The path was completely opposite from the path Sakura chose to walk down.


	2. Go disappear and we'll look for you

As Sakura and the tall guy were running down the path, Sakura realized she never got the man's name.

"Umm...I never got your name. What is your name?", Sakura asked hoping he would answer.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my name is Jūgo.", The man said looking at the female.

"My name is Sakura. Nice to meet and travel with you, Jūgo.", Sakura smiled with her eyes closed.

"Nice to meet you, too, Sakura.", Jūgo said slightly confused.

He didn't understand why she smiled at him.

"Let's get going!", Sakura said.

Sakura is still drunk from what happened earlier.

What's even more bad is the fact that she smells like piss still.

She didn't really want to point that out to Jūgo.

Sakura wondered if there was a clothing store near by.

"Jūgo, ummm, do you think we can find a clothing store near by?"

Jūgo looked confused. However, he wasn't going to ask Sakura why they needed to find a clothing store.

"Sure...", Jūgo still wondering why.

"Actually...you stay right here and I'll go look. Okay? Okay. See you Later!", Sakura said before running out of his sight.

"She's weird...", Jūgo thought.

Sakura was looking around for some place with clothing.

All of the villagers were dead so Sakura didn't have to pay...As wrong as it may sound...She **did** need new clothing.

Sakura saw a building with clothes in it.

She went inside to look for something she liked.

Though...it would be better if she just picked the first thing she saw.

But Sakura was picky sometimes.

"Ummm, let's see...", Sakura said browsing around.

Sakura thought she heard a sound and turned around, but she didn't see anything.

The store she was in was completely dark.

There was three dead bodies in the store as well.

Sakura found a really cute shirt that was pink and red. Similar colors as her shirt but the design was completely different.

Then she found a long black skirt.

Sakura, of course, needed new panties.

Hopefully this place had some sort of wipes.

The pee that stained her panties stained her thighs as well.

Sakura found a pair of panties. Though they looked like something old ladies would wear...

Sakura found the clothes she needed. Now all she needed to find was wipes. The store she was currently in didn't have anything of the sort. Sakura went a little more further from where Jūgo was at to look for a shop that sold wipes or something similar to wipes.

After walking about 110 feet from the original shop she was at, Sakura found a shop that looked like they sold wipes. Then again looks can be deceiving.

Sakura walked in to find six bodies all in one room. Sakura looked disgusted. How could anyone kill innocent people? The room was darker than the original store she was at.

Sakura looked around. She found what she was looking for.

Now, Sakura needed a bathroom. It was a good thing the store had a bathroom.

Sakura went into the bathroom to put on her new clothes.

She walked into the biggest stall so she could move more freely.

As Sakura took off her bottoms and then her top, she heard a sound. It didn't sound human. It didn't even sound like an animal.

As Sakura wiped her thighs clean, she heard the sound again. She was starting to panic. She was...scared. She put on her new panties. She was getting clumsy and dropped her new clothes on the tile in the bathroom. She quickly put on her skirt then her top.

As Sakura made a hand movement to open the stall door she saw blood leak into her stall.

The bathroom was dimly lit but it was bright enough for her to see.

Then all of a sudden the entire room goes dark.

Sakura can't see a thing. It's pitch black.

Sakura fell onto ground. As she fell she happened to glance under the stall's door.

Not that there was a point to this. The room was completely dark. She wouldn't even be able to see a rat crawling.

Sakura all of a sudden saw a pair of red bright eyes. Along with the bright red eyes, Sakura also heard that same sound she's been hearing.

Sakura felt a pair of hands grab her as she tried to run out of the stall.

Sakura wishes she could punch whatever was grabbing her, but she couldn't. She'd either punch herself in the process and break some of her own bones or she would just miss.

As the hands scratched her skin, her body felt weird.

She felt like she was on fire.

As she finally decided to just punch whoever had her, Sakura suddenly disappeared.

The lights turned back on in the room.

It was about thirty minutes since she last left Jūgo to find herself new clothes.

Jūgo was tired of waiting.

He went off to find Sakura.

Meanwhile, Naruto was traveling with that female he had just met about an hour ago

While they were walking, Naruto wondered what her name was.

"Hey, what's your name?", Naruto asked while walking with a bored expression.

"Shut up!", The red head yelled.

"I'm Naruto.", he said a bit upset from her reaction.

Naruto? The girl repeated in her head.

She didn't notice it before but he was from the Leaf.

She realized those people were her enemy.

She quickly took three steps back from Naruto.

"Hey...what's the matter?", the boy asked wondering why she was acting so weird.

The girl quickly ran away from Naruto.

"What the-?", Naruto said watching her run away.

"That was weird.", Naruto said.

He just decided to leave it alone.

He just continued to search for his friend, Sakura.

She was important at the time.

Kakashi and Sai didn't have a lead to find Sakura and Naruto.

They decided to look into a village they were about to pass.

It was pretty far away.

The small village was near the Sand village.

Every other village they checked out had no sign of Naruto or Sakura.

When they went inside the village, there was no sound.

There was just blood.

Kakashi was surprised. Who did this?

"Let's look around. You go that way, I'll go this way.", Kakashi said with a serious look on his face.

"Right!", Sai said going ahead to search for Naruto and Sakura.

"Hey!", a man yelled.

He had light blue hair.

A big sword.

"Jūgo, have you found the others?", the man asked waiting for a response.

"No, not yet.", He said happy to see Suigetsu.

"Let's go then!", Suigetsu said.

Jūgo started to follow Suigetsu. He looked back because he felt bad for leaving the female named Sakura.

He wondered why she hadn't return.

He had been waiting for over forty five minutes now.

Maybe she ran off because she didn't know him.

No. This was not the case. Sakura disappeared while changing her clothes.

Jūgo turned back around to follow Suigetsu who was now a few feet away.

Wait!

Jūgo turned around again.

"What if that thing got her? That thing we were looking for.", Jūgo said trying to find the girl.

Jūgo left Suigetsu. He decided not to follow him to find the woman who could have been captured—or killed by that thing. Either way, it would be nice for him to atleast allow her soul to rest in peace.

Suigetsu just now realized that Jūgo wasn't following him.

This pissed him off but he really wanted to find their leader, Sasuke.

Suigetsu decided to look for Sasuke instead of gathering Jūgo again.

Jūgo looked for the girl wondering where she could have gone. What took her so long to come back? Was she dead? Did she decide to leave him? Was she still looking for clothes?

These thoughts made Jūgo desperate to find the female.

Naruto remembered that he thought he saw Sasuke.

Was it really Sasuke?

Naruto went back to where he was when he saw Sakura.

There was staircase.

"I heard a thump when I was walking away. Did Sakura fall?", the boy asked himself.

During that time, Naruto walked about a mile from Sakura.

Seems far but it really wasn't.

"Is that...blood?", the boy asked wondering what happened.

"That's right. I never went down the stairs.

Sakura must have went down the stairs to see was was down there.", the boy wondered.

There were dead bodies everywhere when the blonde decided to go down the stairs.

Naruto looked shocked.

He heard a noise coming from a villager's house.

He asked "Who's in there?".

Someone came running out.

It was Kakashi.

"Kakashi sensei! Boy am I glad to see you.", Naruto said.

"Naruto!" Kakashi yelled.

"Where's Sakura?", he asked.

"I'm looking for her right now.", The boy yelled.

"How did you two even get separated.", The sensei asked.

"It doesn't matter! Let's go look for Sakura-chan!", The boy said running in the same direction.

Sai couldn't find Sakura.

As he continued to walk, he ran into someone.

It was...Sasuke?

"Sasuke...?", Sai asked.

Sasuke smirked and attacked Sai.

"Sasuke, I don't have time for you! I'm looking for Sakura.", the boy said.

As Sasuke put his sword away, he disappeared into thin air.

Sai's facial expression was blank.

He continued to search for Sakura.

A scream was heard.

Everyone in the village mus have heard it.

I mean, it was really loud.

It sounded like...Sakura?

Jūgo was more close to the scream.

It came from a store.

Jūgo inside the store.

It came more from the bathroom.

Jūgo went inside to find a demon-like creature standing in the room.

On the floor, near the creature, was a female.

It wasn't Sakura though.

It was this woman who looked like a normal villager.

She was dead.

Her heart was out of her chest.

Her head sliced open.

There was no brain.

Jūgo was getting ready to fight as the creature disappeared.

"Then...who screamed?",the man asked himself before leaving the store.


End file.
